WEBVTT

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Have you ever heard of the word grooming? 

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Grooming is a way that bad people
slowly prepare you

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to eventually participate
 in their inappropriate activities.

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Grooming can start online with strangers

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and may eventually lead to
in-person meetings.

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Grooming  can also occur
with trusted caregivers,

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church members or
 even close family members

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and can be either men or women.

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In many ways, it can be hard to recognize
 when we are being groomed

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because grooming behavior often
 looks like normal caring behavior.

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And it might even happen
 from someone we know well,

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like a parent, family member or friend.

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Groomers can be very charming
 and seem like

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they want to get to know
 you over time to gain your trust.

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And you might even think of them
 as a boyfriend or girlfriend.

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Then it can all change very quickly
 and they are not the nice

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person you thought they were.

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Some of the most common
behaviors of grooming 

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and sexual exploitation are:
 giving you special attention

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or gifts that are unexpected, making
 close, intimate and physical contact

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such as inappropriate tickling, playing
 or touching near your private areas.

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This might even occur during
normal caregiving activities.

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Pretending to accidentally expose you
 to nudity, sexual material

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or inappropriate videos.


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Exhibiting control by using threats and force

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to make you feel scared
 to report their unwanted behavior.

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Making your parents or caregivers
 feel extra special to gain their trust

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and then putting them down
 when you are alone.

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Groomers may rely on
mobile devices, social media

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and the internet to get personal

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and will often make you promises
 to keep the relationship a secret.

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A few common grooming phrases to look out for
 when you are chatting with someone online are:

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You seem sad. Tell me what's wrong?

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What's your phone number
so I can text you?

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Let's go private on this app. 

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You were so pretty. 

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Let's swap pics. 

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I'm the only one
 who really understands you.

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Let's meet. 

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That people are very clever
 in the way they will groom you.

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They may make you think
 what they are asking you to do is normal

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when it really isn't normal at all.

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If you start to feel guilty
 for doing things they ask, they may tell

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you it's your fault or tell you that
 you asked them to do it when you didn't.

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Eventually, the bad person

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hopes grooming will lead to other things
 you never expected.

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They may try to control you by: 
Telling you to take revealing photos of yourself

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and asking you to text them or send them
 through messaging apps. 

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Threatening to embarrass you or share
your nude photos with your family or friends

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if you don't send more.

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Threatening to end the friendship
 and hurt you

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if you aren't willing to have sex
 with them or their friends.

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Keeping you away from those you love
 and demanding sex in return for food,

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medicine, care or a place to stay.

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And asking you or making
 you have sex with other people

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if you want to stay safe. 

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Victims of this abuse are often

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afraid to talk and may not realize
 what is happening is wrong.

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They may think they are in a loving
 relationship or friendship,

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or that they have no choice. 

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That's why it's important
 to spot the signs of grooming early.

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If at any moment
 you see these warning signs,

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it's time to seek help
 from a trusted person.

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A trusted person can be a person
 whose actions and words make

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you feel safe, like a teacher, a mentor,

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a parent, close friend or even a coach.

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Anyone who loves you and always respects
 you and your boundaries,

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it is always OK to tell
 and ask for help from a trusted person.

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If you need help 

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or you are aware of a person 

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with intellectual disabilities
 in a dangerous situation or suspect

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they are being groomed
 or exploited in any way, you can report

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the situation to these agencies
 for assistance and resources.